Change For Your Mind
I stumbled on this great article from FOX News about getting your kids to talk to you -- here's the link:
Want your kids to talk to you? Try this...
- Dr Shipon
Dr. Randolph Shipon (NJ Licensed Psychologist #4738, NY Licensed Psychologist #018363) explains to his staff at Inner Wellth LLC in Mountain Lakes, NJ, a simple technique (Body Emotion Technique, or BET) he has developed that shows promise in the quick resolution of strong feelings such as anxiety and anger. The technique is easy for anyone to learn. First, get a measurement on feelings of distress (0-10, 10 being the highest) and WHERE the distress of that feeling lives in the body. Then apply pressure to that part of the body, breathe deeply twice (diaphragmatic breathing, in breath should be shorter than the out breath), measure distress again (0-10) and find out where the body sensation of the distress moved. Then address that area, breathe deeply 2x, repeat until the distress is at zero (0). Dr. Shipon has extensive training in Clinical Hypnosis, Neurolinguistic Programming, and various forms of psychotherapy, and he is intensively trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).
'Tis the season to lose sight of everything important and become overwhelmed by, well, what is depicted in the picture: holiday stress for all the wrong reasons.
And so we have to ask ourselves, when facing holiday stress: What are the good things?
Our challenge coin is here to help!
You can turn anything into a problem: Sure, like holiday stress. The buying. The arranging events. The attending events that were arranged. The seeing family, if that is difficult for you. The travel. All of it.
For each one of these hassle conditions (and they can be just that), if you choose to stay happy and allow yourself some cognitive flexibility around what the positives of the holidays really are.
Here's a short list. Maybe you can make one of your own. Since I gave 5 above, and I owe "5 Reasons To Be Grateful" for each one, I will list 25.
What about right now can be seen as good?
1. How to afford gifts, or what to buy someone, is a problem that much of the world would like to have but does not.
2. There are so many people who are isolated, that even seeing annoying family members is a luxury compared to that.
3. Arranging events gives you the power to set the tone and the time.
4. Attending events, instead of arranging them, means you get to decide when and how to leave them.
5. There are actually reasons to celebrate outside of consumerism, such as getting to see those you love whom you cannot regularly see.
6. Even more importantly for many people around the world, this time of year has some serious and meaningful religious, spiritual and community-based considerations. If you're sick of the consumerism, you are only focusing on part of the story.
7. For all the terrible things going on in the world, we are living in relative peace and safety. The hassle of the holidays is a mere luxury to have for most of the world.
8. Christmas is a story about how much God loves the world. How could anyone feel badly about that?
9. Hanukkah is a story of the heroics of the Jewish people in a time of trials and tribulations. It speaks of God's favor and a people's courage in adversity.
10. Kwanzaa is a celebration of self-reliance and being proud of heritage.
11. Human Light Day (Atheists/Secular Humanists) is a celebration of what is good about human nature even outside the consideration of a religious context.
12. The darkest time of the year is made beautiful by people, who add light to it.
13. People can be generally friendlier this time of year, with well-wishes and special considerations like greeting cards and treats.
14. People invite their friends, co-workers, and neighbors over. As psychologists are increasingly identifying isolation as a major mental health problem among people with certain problems, the fact that people open up their homes and get to know one another is extremely important and powerful. It can even be regarded as medicine.
15. Elf on a shelf is annoying, but hilarious.
16. People still actually send greeting cards on this holiday, which is good for the US Postal Service.
17. The economy is greatly strengthened by a great deal of activity. Think of all the industries that benefit.
18. Milk and cookies left out for Santa means someone had to go buy milk and either make or buy cookies, and none of that is bad.
19. Holiday music can be heard, including some of your favorites.
20. Holiday music will soon end, including some of your least favorites.
21. It's fun to drive through neighborhoods to look at all the lights.
22. Eggnog. The good kind.
23. With all that's happening in the news, people might actually behave themselves at office holiday parties.
24. People get their chimneys swept out this time of year, which enhances neighborhood fire safety.
25. People take some time off from work around this time.
Any problem can be reframed positively, and having the cognitive flexibility to do so is the sign of a healthy person.
Happy Holidays! - Your friends at Inner Wellth
by Dr. R. Wolf Shipon
A friend of mine posted the photo above. He is a psychologist and was promoting a discussion. Here’s my answer:
The answer depends on you.
The mind is a remote control for reality. The same people can be disappointing or amazing from one moment to the next.
The thing is, we decide. We change the channel. Such is our awareness.
I give out the following coin to anyone who will take one.
The coin represents both sides of the awareness. Its function is to perform cognitive retraining - if at any moment it is literally a coin flip regarding whether we think something is positive or negative, you might as well use it to find five reasons to be grateful when you land on a good thing. Loads of research, including mine, on the salubrious effects of a gratitude practice in helping people get not just mentally but even physically better. Plus, it strengthens relationships to be a grateful person — as we are fundamentally a prosocial species, this is a good thing.
by Dr. Wolf Shipon, Clinical Director, Inner Wellth
A personal note on invisible illness and silent struggle.
All around you are people with silent struggle. Anxiety, depression, bereavement, financial troubles, caregiving for aging parents, now immigration issues, being drug-addicted, helping drug-addicted loved ones, and dealing with various insecurities, fears, and phobias.
Then add to that all the people who have serious medical stuff going on. A lot of people don't know this (somehow, because I'm fairly open about it) but in 2012 I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and Lupus (seropositive for both) and was told I would stop working in 2-3 years by a PhD/MD in rheumatology, because most people do.
I still have 2 jobs. In fact, I work even more.
If I didn't I think I would be sicker.
What does this mean? Well, at any given moment (really) I can identify about 32 places on my body that hurt significantly, usually joints, large and small, on both sides. It ranges in pain levels on average from 3 to 10, 10 being the worst. The pain feels like a combination of sensitivity (everything hurts more, like everything is already bruised) and outright crushing vice-like pain. I describe it as having a serious toothache except it's everywhere in my body. And I am better at predicting storms than any weather forecaster. I am the forecast.
Did you know chronic pain is co-morbid with serious depression? If you cannot control the pain, you cannot control the depression, and I have seen the worst of it myself.
I push myself not to feel this way. Hemp oil has been a miracle for me and helps me almost instantaneously. I also find if I exercise I feel better, and spinning has been like a dream come true. Exercise I can actually do, and I feel better afterwards.
Maintaining my inner peace is critical. To do that, meditation has helped but honestly, fishing on my kayak is the best.
I'm stating all of this because maybe you just didn't know it about me, maybe you don't know it about someone else.
Or maybe you're going through something yourself and unlike me, you actually have a shred of dignity so won't speak of it.
I urge you to think about it, when you talk to others.
I urge you to do this especially when it is someone with whom you disagree. Maybe that person is going through something too.
And more than anything, if you are going through something yourself, talk. Keep talking. Keep telling. Keep having the courage to reveal it.
Don't keep it to yourself.
Don't go silent as I have done too many times.
That is when you become the most isolated and the most concerning.
You owe it, if not to yourself then those you love, to speak up. Get help. And be there for everyone. You never know who might really need you today.
You can get stronger and can help someone be stronger. We are all more resilient than we know.
Thank you for reading this.
Change your mind, & keep the change.
This coin reminds us about how our awareness is capable of seeing positive and negative in any situation — opposite sides of the same coin (literally!) — and how to stay positive.
An interesting game is flipping the coin and applying the side that lands to your situation, to rehearse cognitive flexibility. The instruction to name "5 Reasons to be Grateful?" on the positive side will keep you on the light side of things in playing that game.
Want one? Let us know.
The Problem: It's time to pay the bills. It's a drag and you hate it.
Change for Your Mind: It's a privilege to be able to do it. You feel grateful to have the resources to do it (or the intelligence to move around resources as needed) in order to get it done. You feel responsible and like an actual adult.
Five things to be grateful for:
1) The capacity to pay the bills, mentally and financially.
2) This is a less serious problem than other, more serious, problems.
3) You will feel like you behaved responsibly when it is done.
4) It will help remind you of how you spend.
5) It is like a clearing. It's off your plate. You can move on to more pleasurable or important things.
"Give therefore to the emperor the things that are the emperor’s, and to God the things that are God’s" - Matthew 22:21
The problem: You are feeling Stress.
The flip side of the coin: You care about something.
Five things to be grateful for:
1. Stress is your body's way of alerting you to the problem.
2. It mobilizes resources, like adrenaline, acetylcholine, and cortisol, which can help in certain situations.
3. Since your body is attended to the stress, you are likely to resolve it.
4. Since other people can perceive stress on you, you are likely to get offers of help.
5. Feeling stress is actually better for you than being afraid or sad. There is an optimal level of stress required in every human performance. Too little, it doesn't get done. Too much, it becomes overwhelming.
Don't try to eliminate stress. Manage it!
OK, you really wouldn't have to wear a tie.
We are seeking an office assistant with daytime availability. Could work remotely at times, and otherwise, working hourly for $15 an hour with up to 15 hours per week to start, plus $50 bonuses for making successful client connections (new referrals) to our clinicians.
Please apply via ZipRecruiter. Thanks!
Check out this Psychology Office Assistant job opening at:
We would love to teach you to meditate.
And you will really learn this time.
Our staff member Diana will, for a 30-minute session, introduce you to the Muse Headband while using aromatherapy. The headband performs a medical-grade Electro-Encephalograph (EEG) while you calm your mind. Nature sounds playing in the background become calmer, and calmer until...
You know how to meditate. You know how to focus on your breath, undistracted. And you know precisely the moment your mind wanders (and it will), because the nature sounds immeditately become louder, getting you back on track, to calmer... and calmer.
There's no excuse not to learn meditation anymore.
It can be taught, and achieved, in mere minutes.
Please schedule a visit with Diana today for your aromatherapy and training.
Change For Your Mind
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